Have you ever met someone who could strike up a genuine conversation with just about anyone? They command the attention of others, they’re the life of the party, and they’re spoken well of by people. If you’re not as socially-inclined, you may think to criticize yourself for it. People often think “I’ll never be like that outgoing,” or “they’re just naturally good with people,” or, the most common label, “I’m just socially awkward.”
First off, relax. Everyone gets a little nervous, shy, or awkward in certain circumstances. These are natural responses to things around you. The trick is not to let them control you. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight, but if you take small steps every day to improve your confidence and social acumen, you will get better at building genuine rapport.
1. Trade Excuses for Result-Oriented Thoughts
Take this and all related sentences out of your phrase bank: “I’m just not good with people.” Relative to who? Take a look at anyone who is a good communicator and you’ll see that they’re more than just bold or outgoing, with an awareness of self that separates them from those who run roughshod over others or ramble on as insufferable boors.
Improve your mindset in baby steps. Ignore your doubts and trade them for positive thoughts. There is always room for improvement, and the empty canvas of future interactions is where you can make those improvements. Every interaction with customers and co-workers is a learning experience.
2. Prepare for Interactions Properly
Don’t just expect to pick up the phone and be able to cold-call someone without preparing a little. Do a little research. Have an agenda planned. You should prep even for a 5 minute phone conversation. Having a small list of topics keeps you on target. If you’re one to dive right in without making small talk, leave a reminder to yourself. Forget to set a date/time for follow-up? Make a note of it so you can reference a list.
3. Review Your Interactions Afterward
After every meeting sales call or customer complaint response—whenever you interact with a customer or client—review it in your head (or even better, with an objective coworker). Did you improve on anything you were previously struggling with? Did you identify a new thing you needed to improve? Healthy reflection can do wonder for bringing these things to light.
4. Be Genuine
Smarmy. The sound of the word even makes your skin crawl. We all know someone like this. They talk to people in a plastic, overly-flattering way. They’re the office gossip; the busybody. Smiling and acting isn’t genuine, and people can tell when you’re not being genuine. A true smile (or Duchene smile) reaches all the way up to the eyes. Clues like this or a flat, detached tone are a dead giveaway that someone is being less than real with you.
Instead, find a piece of yourself that you can use to connect with someone. Show genuine curiosity towards a person and their interests, and they will open up to you. When doing so, it’s very important you listen attentively. Make it about a social exchange with another person.
5. Create Healthy Tendencies
Improving your diet, exercise regimen, and drinking more water will do wonders for you. Incorporating more cardiovascular and strength training will make you look and feel better, and nothing can replace the confidence that you can gain (and exude) from that.
Additionally, your voice is something you should pay an equal amount of attention to. If you drink a lot of coffee during the day or eat a lot of salty/citrus foods, you can dry out your vocal chords. Instead, practice good vocal hygiene by cutting back on some of these things, and increase the amount of water you drink. This keeps your vocal chords hydrated, and at their best.
Whatever your goals are, each day is an opportunity to grow stronger and stronger. For more advice about improving your career in sales, be sure to contact Sandler Training for more information!